“ post love, denial or grieve. ”
listography ⠂ status.cafe ⠂ thoughts
“ post love, denial or grieve. ”
listography ⠂ status.cafe ⠂ thoughts
it's my first time watching supernatural & god, it's been a life changing experience. yesterday i've seen the season eight final episode and i can assure you, i'll never forget dean & sam's heart to heart.
“i can't do it without you.”
“you can barely do it with me. i mean, you think i screw up everything i try. you think i need a chaperone, remember?”
“come on, man, that's not what i meant.”
“it's exactly what you meant. you wanna know what i confessed in there? what my greatest sin was? it was how many times i'd let you down. i can't do that again.”
“sam.”
“what happens when you've decided i can't be trusted again? who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? another angel? another...? another vampire? you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother--?”
how do i even begin? i have so many things to say about this transcript in specific. my heart is going to break every damn time i remember how sam's biggest sin from his perspective was the fact that he failed his big brother. the youngest winchester is truly a gem, you know? he's so much more complex than most people can really get. sam's better at hiding his feelings & this is what confuses everyone on thinking he doesn't care about dean, when deep down, he's afraid of failing his brother and losing his trust all over again.
it's not the first time it occurred to me, but i still find it very funny that i have creativity peaks in the weirdest times possible. i'll always be in the shower or in the dreamland. yesterday, i woke up early in the morning to drink water & when i was almost fading back to sleep i had to reach for my phone & write down a piece of dialogue i made up in my head while thinking of jasper hale. it surely isn't the most incredible thing you'll read in your life, but, for me, it was the sweetest thing i could've ever thought about.
“words would never be able to express how i feel towards you, my darlin'. but i need you to know that it will always be you & me for the eternity, beyond that and in every universe.”
“i’m glad i got to spend your life with me, even if i can’t spend mine with you.”
oh, my heart is broken beyond repair. it's clearly something lemony snicket would write to beatrice.
sometimes — all the time, if i'm being honest — it feels suffocating. my brain is so full & i'm not able to stop thinking, not even for a moment. and the worst is that i'm, also, not able to put my thoughts into words. i've lost count of how many times i tried writing and nothing came out the way i wanted. it's all stuck inside of me & it's like i'm going to drown. it's a never ending writer's block. always fatigued, always tired.
